Rosa Diaz |
Barcelona (EFE).- Writing a book of memoirs when the author’s is fading is risky, admits Carme Elias sincerely, who looks straight at the disease that grips her, Alzheimer’s, in “When I am no longer me”, a courageous and emotional book that the actress has written “so as not to drown in tears”, she said in an interview with EFE.
Elias does not want tears to be the protagonists of the last stage of his life, so he has decided to “accept the disease, which is not the same as resigning”, and “make it known because it is a disease that is very hidden in the family environment and it’s good to put a face on it”.
The 72-year-old interpreter begins the book by recounting the beginnings of her illness, when she noticed for the first time, a few years ago, that it was difficult for her to remember the monologues and she felt a certain insecurity in front of the camera.
The actress, who had memorized roles as complex as Marta in “Terra Baixa” without any problem throughout her life, and had let herself be loved by the camera in “La flor de mi secreto”, by Pedro Almodóvar, or “Camino ”, a film with which she won the Goya for Best Actress, it took her a while to learn that the strange memory lapses she was suffering from were the first symptoms of Alzheimer’s
When they give you the news, your life is cut short
“When they give you the news, your life is cut short. You know that Alzheimer’s eats little by little the chosen brain, until it is empty. Nobody would want to put themselves in your place or in that of so many who are like me, and you feel miserable ”, she confesses.
But Elias has “an example of strength” within his family that helps him stand firm: his brother Josep Maria, who survived polio at just 3 years old and, despite the fact that the disease has accompanied him all his life, ” He has known how to overcome himself, study a career and create a family”.
Following his example, Carme has accepted her destiny and has taken measures so that this ailment, “which leads you to a pit of darkness”, also brings light.
The first measure has been to make it public. “Daring to say it instead of hiding it is a consequence of that search for the truth that I have always pursued as an actress,” she says in the book.
We should not hide for fear of being victimized
“We must not hide our deepest feelings for fear of the reactions of others. We must not hide for fear of being victimized or abandoned ”, adds the actress, who made her disease known at the Brain Film Fest in Barcelona in 2022.
Then came the book proposal. “I thought about it a lot before accepting because, although the disease progresses more slowly than I thought, I already have many problems remembering -he admits-, but the Planeta publishing house gave me all the facilities and I have always liked to write, so I launched myself ”.
“The example of my brother Josep Maria helps me a lot in all my decisions. Have I already told you about him? Sorry, I repeat myself a lot, it’s the disease,” this strong woman clarifies, with her beautiful eyes wide open. and vulnerable at the same time, who has managed to write a well-spun book, but knows that soon he will not be able to do it.
When I feel insecure, the actress in me saves me
“I still manage well when I speak, but sometimes I feel insecure, and that’s when the actress in me saves me,” she reveals.
“Rarely do patients report the disease in the first person, because Alzheimer’s does not allow you to express yourself when it is on top of you. To me, the profession gives me the necessary push to meet with journalists and explain myself ”, he clarifies.
“When I know I have to leave the house to talk about the disease, it seems very hard, but once I’m out on the street I feel active and that gives me life. The interest that people show helps me not to get discouraged, ”she adds.
Another project that she is working on and that keeps her active and motivated is the documentary film that she is shooting with the Venezuelan director based in Valencia, Claudia Pinto.
A book and a documentary film
“She comes to Barcelona from time to time with her team of women – she recounts – and we record how the disease progresses. I trust her, I know that she will know how to stop filming in time and that she will leave a good testimony of this disease so that in the future, when there is an antidote or a medicine that cures it, people can say, poor people! it had to happen!”.
“Before they died of the flu and one day Alzheimer’s will be like the flu, but while there are people like me who will die of this, or what is worse, it will take us a long time to die after the brain is gone,” he presages.
“I have seen those people who are in a chair all day without any encouragement, in residences without any flavor, because the family can no longer take care of them, and I don’t want that to happen to me,” he adds.
Right to decide about one’s own death
“I always believed that I would end up representing old women on stage, but there are things that we do not decide,” he laments.
However, there are others in which he does hope to be able to decide: “I have had a life that I cannot complain about and I have been able to practice my profession. I’m not afraid of death, but it doesn’t make sense for me to be here when my brain is gone. I have iron health and I don’t want to die of old age. I put my hope in the right to a dignified death.
